Rumpkissed Oranges

This morning, I had a tune stuck in my head.  It wasn't a great tune, by any stretch of the imagination, but something I made up in 5th grade.  The tune went as follows...

Rumpkissed oranges, they've been kissed by a rump, yes.
When you eat rumpkissed you know they've been kissed by a rump, yes.  
Rumpkissed.  

Thinking of this tune reminded me of why I penned the stupid ditty to begin with.

I moved to Round Rock in 5th grade, and went from lower middle-class on the social ladder to interesting new kid.  People actually liked me, by and large, at my new school.  Enter Eric Rempkis, I'm not sure if that's how you spelled his name.

This kid was disliked by the entire school because he was weird.  Really weird.  Being considered a little odd myself at my old school, I tried to include him when he was around and we were doing something.  I didn't hate the kid.  Yet.

One day we were playing tag at recess, and I had included Eric in the game.  I'm not sure if he was asthmatic, but he was not very good.  I, on the other hand, was one of the fastest in the grade.  I would sometimes race against the fastest kid in the grade and it was always a close race.  He also always won.

But I digress, Eric was "it," and decided that he wanted to make me his prey.  I was able to avoid all his advances, and eventually Eric got fed up and threw a handful of the playground rocks at me, cutting my face.  I told Eric that I was going to tell on him.  The teacher was likely to find out anyway, since there were tiny cuts all over my face.

He freaked out, and rushed to the teacher immediately.  I was unconcerned:  I was going to enjoy the rest of my recess and tell the teacher when we went inside.  A short while later, the teacher was towering over me with Eric half-hiding behind her.

I lost recess for the rest of the week for threatening to tell on Eric for throwing rocks at me, while he got off without even a missed recess.

I was livid!  I wanted retribution!  What could I possibly do to combat my new foe?

Make him more socially ostracized than he already was.  That's when I penned the song against him.  People started calling him Rumpkissed, and no one talked to him for a while after that.

Looking back I feel bad for making Eric more of a loner than he already was, but I felt entitled to at the time.  No one liked him before I came around, and I tried to include him.  All it earned me was rocks thrown in my face and a week's worth of detention.  I felt betrayed.

I can only imagine how Eric felt after that.

I'm sorry, Eric.

But boy is that a catchy tune.